Quote:
Originally Posted by kungfugrip
And honestly, what awaits you in sobreity when getting fucked up is always in the back of your mind? A constant everyday struggle? I'm good thanks.
|
Yeah. Other than being in incarcerated, then parole, and various in patient rehabs I haven’t been sober more than probably 2 months ever.
I am glad at least I quit doing hard drugs after jail though. Because now I keep the money I make, and don’t do anything illegal other than transactions. I used to steal in many many different ways, and lie to everyone all the time etc.
But I started drinking which before ‘being on paper’ I drank at like, large parties or if someone would drag me to the bar, once or twice a month. Now I drink everyday and if I don’t bang down 3-4 beers by early afternoon I feel weird and shaky. If I’m working a ‘real’ job at the time I just take some little airplane shots of vodka and drink them at lunch or throughout.
So yeah the drinking is to a really bad point, but still better than where I was with opiates.
But yeah, in jail I didn’t even trick myself into what I’d do when I got out... in rehabs I tricked myself a bit, but in the back of my mind I basically always knew I wouldn’t.