[Ouch]

Actually I think the opposite... the second song was better... you packed a few too many syllables into a few lines but it flowed better overall in comparison to the first song you posted.

Honestly your voice doesn’t help a lot... sounds kind of like you’re pinching ya nose when you rap and semi high pitched. You can change that but only so much, you’re still going to sound like you. Other than packing too many syllables into some of the lines it was fine though. A lot of the internet type rappers will be like... yes I’ll write a text verse put it over a beat and try to make it match, that doesn’t really work. It still sounds like you’re semi melodically reading a text verse over an instrumental.