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dull boy · 03-10-2021, 11:49 PM

WEEK 6 MATCH UPS AND PREDICTIONS
(by UserName)

CHAMP MATCH: (4-0) User V (3-1) Dave

Holy shit. Feel like these two have been on a collusion course for weeks now. Dave is on fire and User just bounced Blue out of the #1 spot. Both are incredibly witty and have proven themselves to be well equipped to thrive under this format. Honestly am looking forward to reading these two go at it.

Prediction – Meltdowns over week 5 results derail the league before judging takes place

(4-1) Blue V (2-1) Hush

Oooooooooooooh this will be fire. Flame emoji’s everywhere. Burn unit’s gonna be PACKED after this one. Am I over-selling it? Maybe. Anyways, Blue’s coming off a loss to me, and it feels weird to even write that sentence, but whatever. We talked. We still enjoy the smell of each other’s musk and heavy servings of stirred & well-garnished Black Cherry White Claw. Hush and I have less in common. We have the Nets, which I’ve chosen to root for this year because watching a Bulls game is like watching someone shoot your family, in the head, one by one, every. single. night. It get’s old. Anyways, I’ve gotten WAY off course. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I’d absolutely fuck Hush, and thank him for it, he’s got an undeniable erotic/exotic nature about him, but I’d marry Blue, with his sun-kissed skin and supple Pelotoned thighs, in a Canadian Minute.
Prediction – Blue by a narrow margin. Oh wait, this was about text? Haha. Hahaha. Whoops.

(1-3) Des V (2-2) Frac

Another dope match between two guys coming off losses. Des lost to Adverse, which I didn’t see coming at all. Frac’s coming off a loss to Dave. I honestly thought Frac got the best of Dave in a couple encounters, especially later on, but the judges saw it differently and thought Dave ran away with it. Des’ record shouldn’t represent anyone’s opinion of his skill – if it does, you’re stupid. This is a fun league, but it’s taken it’s toll on people who’ve been faced with consistently tough opponents. The format really insures that each match is an absolute toss up, because your OWN lines get used against you, and THEN it’s left for a completely anonymous panel to judge. I say that to say this, yes, this match will be dope, and who I think will win probably won’t win. My predictions are batting like .110 this season so who’s really even listening to me at this point?
Prediction – 4 responses into the match, Frac pulls off his mask to reveal he’s really Dave and Dave is really Frac and they pulled a switcheroo on us, then Des beats Dave and Frac beats me, setting up the REAL Des vs. Frac match for next week. I should write for the WWE.

(2-3) Seth V (2-2) Adverse

One guy coming off a hard-fought battle, another reveling in his latest win. Man, Seth’s really had a rough go of it in this league. He’s had tough opponents week in and week out, but maybe he’ll find some reprieve in Adverse. Ad’s really picked up the secret to doing well in this league from the get-go, but he’s had his own share of setbacks. He knows how to flip and do rebuttals and do them well. Same can be said for Seth, but given his hyper-paced writing style, he sometimes lets some shots go that probably would’ve been better off in the chamber for a while. This is an interesting little clash on paper, because normally I’d say Seth would have this in the bag – but Ad’s been pulling little tricks out of his troll-like sleeves here lately. Should be a fun one to read, regardless.
Prediction – Seth is going to go full nuclear when he reads the mag and realizes he lost to Hush. Wipes out the entire coast.

(2-0) Defiant V (1-1) Spree
I’m not even doing a detailed breakdown here. Look. Spree, we need more ass pics. Side, bent over, zoom shots, bird’s eye view, whatever you got. Send them in. Honestly, I’ll take a colonoscopy video if you’ve got it on hand. Fuck it, make the entire battle ass shots. Def, post your ass. Spree, post your wifes. I honestly don’t even wanna read your verses. I’m entering this fucking thread for one thing, and that’s Spree’s wifes ass. The people demand more. They deserve more. We’re reading 20-30 reply battles each week, we need a thread we can come in to, crack a beer, and just look at some fucking T&A like men. Give us what we want. More ass.
Prediction – They fucking battle like faggots

(1-4) Mac V (1-0) Dull

Mac, you gorgeous fucking cretin. Please beat Dull. He can’t run a league, vote on it and win the fucking thing too. You gonna let him get to 2-0? Fuck no. Eat his fucking heart. Look, you tried being Loaded Mac, and that got you a few paltry dubs, and a heckuva lotta losses. Let’s switch things up, as your manager and part time stylist, because on the weekends I do hair (DM me for info), let’s try being Baked Mac now. Just loosen up. Feel the vibes hes throwing your way. Take them in. Let them marinate in your sandalwood and lavender scented juices. Then lob the grenade at him, calmly. Don’t panic. Just wait for the explosion to send him flying into a million pieces. New slogan: This Aint Your Momma’s Baked Mac!
Prediction – Please win, Mac. Do it for Simón José Antonio de la Santísima Trinidad Bolívar y Ponte Palacios y Blanco

Rules

I'm always open to answering questions, but please refer to this first if you're unsure of something.

Excessive chatter used as a lead in to your bars will not be tolerated and
could result in a DQ at my discretion. Let your bars do the talking.

1. Opener

Each battle will begin with a coin chosen participant to open the battle. I will @ you when threads are posted each week
informing you that you're on the clock. Your post is the only bar(s) of the battle that don't need to directly or indirectly
reference a previous bar. Some may say it's a disadvantage to open, but the counter to that argument is that it's the only
opportunity to use a generic punch during the battle.

Each post has a 1 bar minimum, 2 bar max. You will have 24 hours from the time the thread is posted to submit your bar(s).
Failing to post within that time limit will result in a DQ and a loss on your record.

2. Rebuttal

Once the opener has been posted you will have 24 hours from the time it was posted to submit your bar(s).
If you fail to respond within that 24 hours it will result in a DQ and a loss on your record. Again, it is a 1 bar minimum and a 2 bar max.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MATCH THE AMOUNT YOUR OPPONENT POSTED. Any line after the opening bar(s) must reference a previously posted bar(s) from the battle, be that directly or indirectly.

There is no restriction to how long you must wait to reply once your opponent has posted.
There is no limit to how many times you and your opponent can exchange bars. Battles will end every Sunday at midnight EST.

If you opened the battle you may not post after 10:59PM EST.
This is to discourage last second posting without giving your opponent
the opporunity to respond and equal the number of posts in a battle.

3. Judging and voting

Threads will be closed Sunday at midnight EST. A panel of 5 anonymous judges will send their votes directly to me and the winners will be announced Wednesday in the mag.

03-10-2021, 11:49 PM	#2
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,053 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345604	WEEK 6 MATCH UPS AND PREDICTIONS (by UserName) CHAMP MATCH: (4-0) User V (3-1) Dave Holy shit. Feel like these two have been on a collusion course for weeks now. Dave is on fire and User just bounced Blue out of the #1 spot. Both are incredibly witty and have proven themselves to be well equipped to thrive under this format. Honestly am looking forward to reading these two go at it. Prediction – Meltdowns over week 5 results derail the league before judging takes place (4-1) Blue V (2-1) Hush Oooooooooooooh this will be fire. Flame emoji’s everywhere. Burn unit’s gonna be PACKED after this one. Am I over-selling it? Maybe. Anyways, Blue’s coming off a loss to me, and it feels weird to even write that sentence, but whatever. We talked. We still enjoy the smell of each other’s musk and heavy servings of stirred & well-garnished Black Cherry White Claw. Hush and I have less in common. We have the Nets, which I’ve chosen to root for this year because watching a Bulls game is like watching someone shoot your family, in the head, one by one, every. single. night. It get’s old. Anyways, I’ve gotten WAY off course. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I’d absolutely fuck Hush, and thank him for it, he’s got an undeniable erotic/exotic nature about him, but I’d marry Blue, with his sun-kissed skin and supple Pelotoned thighs, in a Canadian Minute. Prediction – Blue by a narrow margin. Oh wait, this was about text? Haha. Hahaha. Whoops. (1-3) Des V (2-2) Frac Another dope match between two guys coming off losses. Des lost to Adverse, which I didn’t see coming at all. Frac’s coming off a loss to Dave. I honestly thought Frac got the best of Dave in a couple encounters, especially later on, but the judges saw it differently and thought Dave ran away with it. Des’ record shouldn’t represent anyone’s opinion of his skill – if it does, you’re stupid. This is a fun league, but it’s taken it’s toll on people who’ve been faced with consistently tough opponents. The format really insures that each match is an absolute toss up, because your OWN lines get used against you, and THEN it’s left for a completely anonymous panel to judge. I say that to say this, yes, this match will be dope, and who I think will win probably won’t win. My predictions are batting like .110 this season so who’s really even listening to me at this point? Prediction – 4 responses into the match, Frac pulls off his mask to reveal he’s really Dave and Dave is really Frac and they pulled a switcheroo on us, then Des beats Dave and Frac beats me, setting up the REAL Des vs. Frac match for next week. I should write for the WWE. (2-3) Seth V (2-2) Adverse One guy coming off a hard-fought battle, another reveling in his latest win. Man, Seth’s really had a rough go of it in this league. He’s had tough opponents week in and week out, but maybe he’ll find some reprieve in Adverse. Ad’s really picked up the secret to doing well in this league from the get-go, but he’s had his own share of setbacks. He knows how to flip and do rebuttals and do them well. Same can be said for Seth, but given his hyper-paced writing style, he sometimes lets some shots go that probably would’ve been better off in the chamber for a while. This is an interesting little clash on paper, because normally I’d say Seth would have this in the bag – but Ad’s been pulling little tricks out of his troll-like sleeves here lately. Should be a fun one to read, regardless. Prediction – Seth is going to go full nuclear when he reads the mag and realizes he lost to Hush. Wipes out the entire coast. (2-0) Defiant V (1-1) Spree I’m not even doing a detailed breakdown here. Look. Spree, we need more ass pics. Side, bent over, zoom shots, bird’s eye view, whatever you got. Send them in. Honestly, I’ll take a colonoscopy video if you’ve got it on hand. Fuck it, make the entire battle ass shots. Def, post your ass. Spree, post your wifes. I honestly don’t even wanna read your verses. I’m entering this fucking thread for one thing, and that’s Spree’s wifes ass. The people demand more. They deserve more. We’re reading 20-30 reply battles each week, we need a thread we can come in to, crack a beer, and just look at some fucking T&A like men. Give us what we want. More ass. Prediction – They fucking battle like faggots (1-4) Mac V (1-0) Dull Mac, you gorgeous fucking cretin. Please beat Dull. He can’t run a league, vote on it and win the fucking thing too. You gonna let him get to 2-0? Fuck no. Eat his fucking heart. Look, you tried being Loaded Mac, and that got you a few paltry dubs, and a heckuva lotta losses. Let’s switch things up, as your manager and part time stylist, because on the weekends I do hair (DM me for info), let’s try being Baked Mac now. Just loosen up. Feel the vibes hes throwing your way. Take them in. Let them marinate in your sandalwood and lavender scented juices. Then lob the grenade at him, calmly. Don’t panic. Just wait for the explosion to send him flying into a million pieces. New slogan: This Aint Your Momma’s Baked Mac! Prediction – Please win, Mac. Do it for Simón José Antonio de la Santísima Trinidad Bolívar y Ponte Palacios y Blanco Rules I'm always open to answering questions, but please refer to this first if you're unsure of something. Excessive chatter used as a lead in to your bars will not be tolerated and could result in a DQ at my discretion. Let your bars do the talking. 1. Opener Each battle will begin with a coin chosen participant to open the battle. I will @ you when threads are posted each week informing you that you're on the clock. Your post is the only bar(s) of the battle that don't need to directly or indirectly reference a previous bar. Some may say it's a disadvantage to open, but the counter to that argument is that it's the only opportunity to use a generic punch during the battle. Each post has a 1 bar minimum, 2 bar max. You will have 24 hours from the time the thread is posted to submit your bar(s). Failing to post within that time limit will result in a DQ and a loss on your record. 2. Rebuttal Once the opener has been posted you will have 24 hours from the time it was posted to submit your bar(s). If you fail to respond within that 24 hours it will result in a DQ and a loss on your record. Again, it is a 1 bar minimum and a 2 bar max. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MATCH THE AMOUNT YOUR OPPONENT POSTED. Any line after the opening bar(s) must reference a previously posted bar(s) from the battle, be that directly or indirectly. There is no restriction to how long you must wait to reply once your opponent has posted. There is no limit to how many times you and your opponent can exchange bars. Battles will end every Sunday at midnight EST. If you opened the battle you may not post after 10:59PM EST. This is to discourage last second posting without giving your opponent the opporunity to respond and equal the number of posts in a battle. 3. Judging and voting Threads will be closed Sunday at midnight EST. A panel of 5 anonymous judges will send their votes directly to me and the winners will be announced Wednesday in the mag. Last edited by dull boy; 03-11-2021 at 01:53 AM.