Sinacog - I don't get your style. It feels drugged out half asleep free styling in the back corner of a 20 person rave, and I know that comes off a little harsh maybe but that's just the vibe I'm picking up. If this is you, then keep doing it, but keep in mind even people like @
2tripple0 can beat you in topicals. that said, I see (obscurely) how you tied to the topic.
Objective - Good opening, felt sloppy middle and ending. I like the simple image, ties to topic. a little vibe here and there ("could take her to the grassy ground") felt nice, kept it simple but opened it up to deeper thoughts.
mvgt Objective