Hal0
I had mixed feelings about the shorter lines you brought this week, I may have been a bigger fan if the multis were better connected. They were easily digestible so to speak, bite size sentences. But in reality I feel like you lost a lot of content because of this. I also feel like you took a couple of steps back this week as compared to the high quality verses we’d seen from you your last two outings. The narrative in the first half seemed to run in circles and the rhymes weren’t solid. I think your second half was pretty good and you did some stuff I was a fan of but ultimately this was one of your weaker verses of the season.
Did like this bit
“ You know that tingly feeling you get on the back of your neck
like a lines being stepped it hides in your breath
I want to lie in her flesh just another creep hiding instead
touching myself watching her rising from bed
tina wasn't like other girls always tired and depressed
when talking with her it's like Im fighting the stress
like untying a knot of wires in a hoarders mess
that's what you get when you place your heart in a hornets nest”
Master Rock:
Your topic approach was simple in my eyes, I thought Hal0 had a deeper thought process here. You kind of took the picture at face value, but at the forefront of things like the Britney Spears documentary that just came out and people ACTUALLY starting to view celebrities as mortal beings with emotions. I think it was a simple premise but it was effective. I liked the rhyming and I liked the kind of childhood/nostalgic images it provoked like a little girl trying their absolute best to be a star from the home performances in tutus and onwards. This was a great read as far as imagery goes and just really resonated with me.
To be honest Rock had a better rounded verse this week through and through
V/Rock
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