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Old 02-02-2021, 01:02 PM   #8
MMLP
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PA – felt a decent storytelling piece overall, the ending was supposed to resonate with us and make us see what this narrator is now going through. It didn’t make me emote as much as youd of hoped for, I guess. I felt this ending could have been executed better and more impactful but I see what you were getting at.

fraze – again, decent. I like your use of vocabulary, I thought with a bit more additional aspects like building character, emotion etc the piece would have been real dope, it would of have been more impactful. it was geared towards the ending line so I get it, good structure ,technically sound

I got fraze
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