brokenhal0:
You mispelled "through" as "threw"-- twice.
The theme of the verse is very evident. Big brother and surveillance. Rhyme and flow were for the most part good. There were a few places where I felt you could have used better phrasing or word choice.
I thought the ending was your strong point. It was cool and rhymed well and tied it together nicely.
Objective:
Interesting piece. I'm gonna be honest, I was pretty lost, especially in the 4th stanza. Didn't quite understand what you were talking about. The rhymes are there, and the flow is pretty good. I just wish I knew more about what this was about.
Overall, neither verse jumped out at me amazing or as something I will remember forever. brokenhal0 related more to the topic, but was a bit choppy and random with some of his phrases. Had a strong ending though. Objective packed a lot of rhymes in but I didn't grasp what he was writing about. The ending loosely ties to the pic.
I don't WANT to do this, particularly with the lack of voters, but based on my analysis I feel like calling this a draw. Both verses had ups and downs. Neither stood out as a winner, but neither was clearly worse either.
Sorry, that's my vote.
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