[sral]

Damn, great topic for this instalment. I love the faceless character sat before the concrete wall, almost an artefact of the past remaining in the present somehow by his own tenacity. It reminds me of my still being around all these years later, I guess. In fact, for my money, that may have been how I chose to perceive this image had I been given the topic. I can relate. In my mind this is a monument to a time that was, all but lost in the present day but an ever-present reminder that there’s a lot to learn from those who were around in the past. They’ve been there, seen it all, and paved the way for the current day/crop. This is a monument to them all who came before. A monolith. At least in my head it is. The face of things may have changed, in look or in name, but somethings never change. It’s only those that fail to adapt which are usurped by the change. Imagine that concept in rhyme form and you’ll get where I’m headed somewhat haha! Anyway, those are my initial thoughts toward this topic, let’s see how you guys fared with it...


Master Rock: There were a couple of great descriptive imagery choices included early on that I really enjoyed personally, clever word choices like “crawl”, the “rumbling drips” and “ripples protruding” all helped in painting the reader a mental picture as the events transpired that I thoroughly enjoyed.

outside crackling of leaves as they draw near macerating my dreamland
my whole bed shook, as the terror creeps in before I felt them ram
shattering the door frame, "BAM!" devastating my thoughts as they ran
a mile to infinite, " Am I dreaming?, Who's there? Who is it?"

This section here was really where the storytelling prowess shone, again with the usage of “crackling” of leaves but also in the naturalistic dialogue use that is difficult to nail correctly and the pacing of the story - it suddenly kicks up a notch and changes in the way it’s delivered, quickening the pace, and was a welcome change from the opening lines (although equally good).

I think stylistically this week me and you opted for a similar method of execution, keeping the characters to a select few allowing us to develop them more thoroughly and coupling that with a sharp and crisp exchange of natural dialogue throughout, letting the imagery do the majority of the speaking for us (and the central characters) while showing the reader what transpired rather than simply “telling” them. It’s difficult to pull off successfully as you did and I can appreciate that.

There were some great one-liners throughout and snippets I could also quote but this one in particular stood out to me as it said so much with so little:

I never knew that hollowness has a sound

It’s very succinct and refined and I love it for its simplicity. Your word choices and vocabulary throughout were also impressive, with a polarising ending that I thought was thoroughly in keeping with the image given the dystopian vibe presented throughout. Solid work, Rock.