first off im not digging that topic image so good luck fellas haha
PA – This wasn’t bad, haha I kinda feel like it’s a reference to me (I know its not). it could also be a reference to you n many others. think most ppl will relate to the narrative and it will score you points.
- One or two girls, over the years he was smitten with.
Now he asks where his 20’s went. It’s a fasttrack, isn’t it?
this line stood out above any, smooth flow, nice tie in n wordplay, really speaks to the reader.
Short and sweet, effective overall
Addy – first off props to being where u am and doing what you’re doing, almost a thankless task! cant be easy writing as well.
so a shorter battle made sense and was fair here…
quite a few quotables... ‘tweet the tunes’ stood out lol
This room has become my prison, a terrarium in a jar
I inspect the bars, without grasping the fragility of my glass reality
Every time I make a break for the light the demons drag me back down - it’s crab mentality
That this room’s become a prison, and depression’s standing guard ............dope af
Yes, animals are trapped in cages and exploited (LOL) and that’s how people with mental health problems can feel or any person with normalised issues really, I think the ending was a little flat and will lose a lot of ppl imho. As a vegan I think I took your ending a different way you may of anticipated LMAO, I kid I do get the sentiment.…
this is flip of a coin shit, enjoyed both…. no troll
-ad had more going on throughout, kinda that lost drive at the end
-PA resonated more without being as technically proficient and maybe as engaging but with a cleaner ending
ffs, ill go adverse, just had more to it to enjoy and he deserves some props
Nice drops fellas
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