Still different from the rest
diffident at best, scratching and crawling
itching for respect, beginning to impress
each bar is a signal of success
the emotions riddle me with debts to society
the quest for sobriety, leaves those hopes in tatters
I hold the cameras facing the closing chapter
the incoming calls, drive me up the wall
in climbing the social ladder
but I go on clambering page by page
through the ice ages of Myspace
its high stakes masking a cry-face that hides shame
so I bend the truth,
just to keep the lies straight
paying the price ranges from being forsaken
thinking why-fight it
isolated, a live wire who seems simulated
releasing statements, tweeting elation
injuries apart, I’m still feeling I’m jaded
a level- headed maturity
crossed with a false sense of security
that can lift me like a barbell, but at the same time I can’t tell
I become inquisitive, its triggering
a simple “Hope you are well,”
and I’m thinking, is this heart-felt?
I just need to ditch the phone,
switch the tone of this ‘hard’ shell
the only thing ringing now.. should be the alarm bells!
but I can’t help but think I’m bitter
to put it in scripture, it reflects in the mirror
so check your spots, connect the dots
and you’ll see the bigger picture
the panic releasing through those little whispers
in a matter of speaking, I’m in the land of the free
Travelled the regions plastered in green
the gathering trees
scattered with leaves
still actively seeping with the passage of seasons,
I planted the seeds like Adam and Eve did
bask in the breeze of my plans to get even
recaptured the feeling
of not having to reason
with this supernatural being I just won’t release
controlling me through bad spells
thought it was handheld but it’s the one who had a hold of me
Ctrl-Alt-Delete
a non-believer, decided I was moving on
scooped along now I’ve been proven wrong
crossing the junctions, onwards and upwards
found a new route across and a lease of life
feast your eyes, because now I’m non provoked, not controlled
intoxicated and you don’t want the smoke,
bottles opened going for that pot of gold
I’m starting afresh,
now I’ve got a hold
because it’s better to be on the bottom of a ladder that you want to be on
than on top of one, you don’t!