text prowess, calorie intake, even his foot size won
this guy dwarfs me in every category but mostly cuz he literally looks like one
we need to get u help bro. forget about bars. this shit’s drastic
when ur friends tell u to ‘kick the hobbit’ it ain’t cuz they got British accents
and the ones who stay silent have done bro a disgrace
like some kind of dyslexic aero... he’s taken a bilbo to the face...
gunbars won’t work on u. need eye of newt and a battle-honed axe
i dont want to smoke u, i want to whittle a pipe that looks like u and just smoke that
go in on days off to shell out cells to switch from a home phone
u get called into work??? it’s cuz some kid just wished on a snow globe
my home you’ll find lego-less cuz i cant stand stepping on the shit in bare feet
in ur home u find Legolas, because u two fought side by side at Helm’s Deep.
des got a wife, true, but keeps a mistress and a girl for weekend cheating
user stays with three hos too, but only cuz it’s how he gives season’s greetings