Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenhal0
Yo Ill put your head threw the shredder like some deli meat
The fuck you telling me Have your wifey tongue kiss my smelly feet
kinda funny. mostly bad. work on your punches
I 'coop'erate your dreams while you co-operate police
compensate your failures with more mistakes and grief
no punch here.
Your a rat who wouldn't take the cheese
im the cat whose claws gonna make you bleed
trapped no place to leave
cool multis. the rat/cat thing is pretty simple. not harsh or clever enough
ill cut you in line in micky d's ill lace your weed to make you sneeze
slam your head into a table and break your knees
violence without cleverness doesn't work
i heard you eat glizzy's and party with men with fake tittys
a real copycat end up missing where ya body at
in the trunk of my uncles pontiac
very light. needs wit
Fuck a handgun where my shotty at ill split your body back
kill any Co-oPerative trying to lock me up with a shiny badge
you already did cooperate. cooperative is redundant
send the wolfs to your farm king cooper on you chickens
next morning they gone hows does it feel to be a loser with your written's
diss is too straightforward
Labeled a snitch cause you always waiting to tell
your whole style basic as hell
ill stuff my fist up your girls pussy
until her labias swell
this was kinda disturbing. not in a hard hitting way. more in a "are you a sex offender" way
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You did a good job with rhymes and multis but most of your bars don't have something I would call a punch. You're gonna need those if you want to win battles.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coop
ANOTHER troll account??? Cmon, this poor lil bastard's a sure disaster
No one has the will to read your shit. We'd have to be dying of more than laughter
will/dying is ok. could have been set up better
You can try, but hell, time will tell you could never outfight or beat me
Cuz a broken clock's right only twice a day, but a brokenhalo always writes weekly
this is a stretch. concept is ok but isn't worded to hit for me
Then he rages when he loses. God don't like angry! But I'm not tryna preach
Just count your losses, brokenhalo.. mouse, keyboard, & anything else within reach
this is ok
Chicks give him 3 strikes then he's gone. (If they don't flake on his broke dates)
S'why he's got so many Turkeys he can supply Thanksgiving for his whole state
light. punch is meh to me
A fuckin heathen, as long as this punk is breathing he couldn't fill sinacog's spot
Your great desire's the lake of fire? You still won't know how it feels to be hot
not harsh enough. i would have set up lake of fire in a different way. sinacog reference is pretty loose connection.
& you're short, annoying & dumb like Dominions. You're Despicable dude
So even if you had that voting machine ^, there'd still be no switching to you
ok closer. wording could be better in punch
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Quotes: count your losses
Close: closer
Ok verse. Part of the issue is concepts. Some of the ones you picked are light/simple and limit the impact of your bars. In other places, your concept is ok but doesn't have wording to hit harshly. Better setup with help with this. Also just play around with a couple different ways to get to your punch, you might find a better approach after the first one. A step up from last weeks verse in execution but need more creativity to get past tougher opponents.
Vote: Coop. He wins this pretty easily but still has a couple places to improve.