[Objective]

Oooh, interesting topic. I too, have written to this picture some time in the past!

Mr.J: I read it in full and I just got to say that I've definitely read a lot better from you. Did you perhaps get a little bit demotivated after last weeks no-show? Or was it the picture? Seems like you wrote down parts of your thought process into being the concept of the piece. Thinking about these two lines before the closing couplet to finish off that thought:
"When your pummeled into taking what's lost in thought.
Sometimes it takes time to finally come across the plot."

Tho, it also makes sense in terms of how you laid out your verse and your last two lines making you read it all over again. I enjoyed that twist but it still feels like it's lacking something, maybe it was just too short for me to get into just when it was starting to get good to me, haha. However, it's a thought provoking journey through the path to find the path to your inner self or reflect upon other peoples roads in life, and mind as a concept of its own. However, it's not really poking too much beyond what's on the surface. What I mean by that is that the content isn't really that new or said in a way that made me go "Damn, you hit the nail with that one!"

It's a good write up, don't get me wrong, I'm just not sure if it's competitive enough to snatch my vote. I'm saying this because I KNOW you can write 10x better.

MMLP: Dope and captivating intro.

Enjoying the subject matter and concept you're going for. Kinda went a different route (making it personal about yourself) than Mr.J did (outwardly perspective and connecting with the reader through thoughts most can relate to).

It's pretty good and I'm enjoying it, got my first hiccup here:

the more I chose to discuss
A strength in duality that wasnt going to budge
^Yeah, it kinda works but too much of a nursery rhyme to me. The asonance and rhythmic pattern is a bit off to make it work completely for me. I see what you're doing, I just think you could have done it a lil bit better. I don't know, the more I read it the more it sounds good but at the same time there's something that's off that I can't quite put my finger on. It annoys me a bit that I can't pinpoint exactly why I think it isn't working, but obviously enough that I feel like I should mention that it threw me a little bit off. Maybe some of the better vets can shed some light on how wrong/right I am.

That would go unnoticed I til saw a hole in the debate.
^Correction: Till I, hiccups like these that stops the reader in their path can cost you a w in title matches etc. Not a biggie, but giving you a heads up.

by any stretch of the imagination, I was still confused and detached
I wasn’t questioning the grand design just disputing the facts
^Feel like the transition to a different rhyme pattern to switch it up a little was a good idea, but the line is still a bit stretched. "I was confused and detached" would suffice, I think. Small corrections/polishes like that would do you good, I think. "Why waste time say lot words, when few word do trick?" etc.

by not choosing to act and just believing the concept
its not losing a battle, it’s just defeating the object
^Smoothest transition so far. Nice. "Just" is used a bit much tho, three sentences in a row.

It was harder to accept so henceforth, perhaps.
Descartes had said it best, I think therefore I am
but be careful in that, envisaging this existence at hand
If this is all an hallucination… what is it, I am...
^Dope closure. Again I think removing a word or two could possibly make it better. I think the word "had" is excessive and kinda breaks the flow of the sentence to me, feels a bit clumsy to say "had said it best".

That said, content matter is dope, overall it's a solid piece. I'm just a nitpicking douchebag, same goes to Mr. J. My feed/thoughts may not make any sense either but thought I'd tell it straight up so you guys can figure out whether or not it brings anything to the table.

Overall I think MMLP had the better verse, a bit more depth and interesting schemes got my vote.