Quote:
Originally Posted by iSpaz
Yeah its iSpaz against Mac. The fact is that you couldn't shoot lead
You wishin you could dead "i", but I'll kill you quicker than that skill from Red Dead
this is forced because you wouldn't say the first part of your punch in real life. concept is a little light too. You should try to use your setup line to give your punch more relevance
Your chances of winning is slim cuz you the wackest with it
You already lost off the rip so I'll break ya top off like a lottery ticket
ok punch but very simple. also would benefit from setup
I'll get in a bitch slot. Hit it till I get a jackpot while this fool's hateful
You could say you felt a hole.. like that one time you built a pool table
i get it but this is pretty basic. this a fake personal but you're accusing him of having carpentry skills. Try to make your disses harsher.
But fuck the jokes. I want smoke and I'm runnin on no patience
So when I have that can pop over that metal tre it won't be the bar waitress.
weak concept. throw this one back
You are a beast. No leash but I can sense the feelin of doubt
If you got fight in your veins, I'll have you fighting to stop your blood from bleedin out.
wording is a little off, but this line was nice. dope concept.
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Quotes: Closer
Closer was LOTB even with shaky wording. I'd work on coming up with better concepts, don't always settle for your first idea for a flip. You also need to work on setups and tying in concepts related to the punch to make it hit harder.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mac
I got ur girl hittin me up askin to drop by
all she wants for christmas is you, thats the word around Spotify
this isn't a diss. his girl called and said she wants him. what are you her bff?
I hope you brought an ally into this death valley
once this ends in heavy oregon traffic you'd wish u never left Cali
(i think) i see what you're trying to do here but its light
both our names are somehow related to the Apple wave
Mac's a best-seller & iSpaz got Steve Jobs rollin in his grave
this is close to hitting. punch needs better wording
nigga lost three times in a row how u won 2 times is a mistery
they say dont take your work home.. but u gotta work on that delivery
isn't worded well enough, also pretty simple
Mac's a chef n i'm about to prepare the buffet
serve the table; not thanksgiving yet but a turkey gettin roasted today
light.
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I don't have any quotes from Mac, but I can also tell you're starting to pull things together. You had a couple of ok concepts but you should try to make your wording harsher. If you words don't convey your contempt for your opponent its not a good diss.
Vote: iSpaz. Neither verse knocked my socks off but both showed signs of potential. Keep writing guys.