Quote:
Originally Posted by JamieBaby
Roll up old school, matter fact I’m through with the gat
They gonna know me in Cooper’s town, for the things I do with this bat
this was nice
Please stop voting, I’m a controlled contender
Breaking down peoples verses with “Nah’s” but still can’t put your own together
works as a personal but statementish. this would have hit if you had a flip in your punch
My team does dirt for that cash so the check will kick in
We hold it down for the rebellion, you go down on Rebel Wilson
meh
Ruger loaded, waste this tall and scrawny
Dyno starts singin’ and you’ll find your kids in a dirt nap, that’s Barney
like the concept but wording isn't quite there
Voters be talkin’, best believe I’m toxic with words
Coop is in ‘A League Of Their Own’, for real he just lost to a girl
this is light. you should have set up the league of their own with a baseball reference to make it hit
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coop
JaimeBaby? They say he's crazy. Overweight & lazy. Gay & may be 80?
I'd slay his lady, but she'd gimme 300 pounds like it's a fair weigh to pay me
cool multis. i see the flip but its light (no irony)
And here's the deal: Jaime still broke as a car w/ no steering wheel
Cuz he works the corner as a queer in heels, but the makeup don't mask the fear he feels
multis and descriptive but this isnt a topical. if you don't have a punch its a wasted bar
You can't Trump me. You're Biden your time, hoping to snag some rare votes
If his confidence is sky high, it's cuz he's only called "good" using AIR QUOTES
if you're doing unrelated setup/closer they should both be able to stand on their own. setup is light wp, closer is going for wit but also light
They wouldn't dare quote your bizarre lil flow. Big groans, yeah we already know:
You couldn't deliver fire if you had flint stones and the car from the show
this is ok. but for the record, anyone would have trouble running deliveries in the flintstones car. it's not a very efficient vehicle outside of cartoons
Your bars'll just show you're lame & I'm ruthless. Truth is, you're only a wimp
Instead of a no name, claim to be Zuch's bitch. At least you'd get votes from the simps
this would hit better if this Jamie isn't that Jamie. But I think this Jamie is that Jamie.
|
JB: Opener was the only quote. "Nahs" had potential and so did closer. This was cool, looks like you're learning the ropes but looking forward to reading more.
Coop: Feels like you are coming over from topicals b/c i see a lot of traces of that in your style. I would avoid bars that aren't focused around some sort of punch. Punch = harsh statement + cleverness. If you're missing either part it doesn't work. Some of your bars weren't harsh enough (opener, air quotes, flintstones). Others didn't have a flip and were too statementish (queer, air quotes). Closer was ok.
Vote: JamieBaby - relatively close battle. both had their strong points and low points and seem to be figuring out battle verses. Jamie takes this with the LOTB opener.