Open for feed? so im feeding lol
concrete – b4 I start another dope pick imo!!! one slight negative out the way first, I like to be constructive lmao! the layout is slightly off putting, personally I think the story naturally separates key moments within itself (as it should), no one likes to be spoon fed, ya dig lol?... I used to do it, so I know lmao
you rhyme beastly, structure is mostly intact, I seriously appreciate shit like that, Big up! big fan of the shorter line approach, just flows, reads smoothly. LESS IS MORE!
‘waiting for any chance to appear to advance my career
got that promotion and I didn't even glance at my peers’
perfect example, a lot going on here, short and sweet, reads smoothly, doesn’t drag on.
A nice philosophical piece overall. haven’t read much from you so ill watch the space! Keep writing!
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