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Old 11-16-2020, 04:04 PM   #12
Adverse
low tide in serotonin bay
 
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,752
Battle Record: 37-28


Champed
- GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II

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Liked the way you held the flow and rhyme scheme while that doesn’t usually score high for me in a topical piece it was very smoothly done and brought a lot of life to the story liked the pictures you painted and the way you layered your bars. Very good verse you and Pharaoh would have matched up well here

Favorite bit was

Such ability is dangerous, tears congruence amiss
How dare one be so self centered & intuitive
Comparative to the worst of revolutionists
Mistaken for nothing more than a mere illusionist
Life is simpler by not admitting who is which
Being able to follow code rather than renew the script
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