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Old 11-16-2020, 02:03 PM   #11
Adverse
low tide in serotonin bay
 
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,752
Battle Record: 37-28


Champed
- GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II

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Really enjoyed this read and think had your opponent shown you would have had this in the bag regardless. Loved the ties to Mother Nature, but also keeping it vague enough to be read in different lights. The imagery you provoked was beautiful and though there wasn’t really a concrete storyline I dug the whole character analysis and all the wonderful language. I think you captured the essence of the photo well, the whimsical nature of it.

My favorite part was:

“ The source of my breath
atmospheric warden of the preservation of flesh
fending off the reaper, yet when you speak I'm deaf
You give, but I want more till there's nothing left
not even a crumb, origin of all the things to come
yet to mankind is what you'll succumb
to dust in wind returns to the root from where all it begins
The grasp of nature is in her eyes
I want the between her thighs
I feel the part of the substance and dirt of which we derive
produce me a seed while I intertwine, flirting with the rain in the sky
cloud 9, I feel so high, this rush penetrates while voltage fertilizes
terrestrial sun kisses making out till its alive”

You’re an awesome writer and I hope you stick around and compete
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