[ACTIVATE SELF]

Candy:
I realize I'm not one to talk when I say this, especially given the sort of style I've chosen to display lately, but usually, when I'm reading your work, it typically tends to come across has being very abstract and whimsical in concept, as well as in language. This one however, seemed a little more grounded in it's narrative. Although, it still had quite a few moments of abstraction. It was however, easier to follow than it normally is.

With that said, I understood your story to be one of humble beginnings that recounted a childhood of poverty, and low social standings. Perhaps not the most innovative topic I've ever read. I mean, with all honesty, it's a subject that's been touched on since the beginning of time, but where you shined brightest was in your written voice. There was a measure of authenticity that added weight and substance to your words, and I liked that.


Hush:
I want to say that the first half of your story was about beatings you received at home, while the second half was about "discipline" you received at school. I could be wrong, but that's how it read to me. In any regard, I believe the overarching theme of your piece was about the trauma our families often pass down as "tradition", as well as, the hypocrisy of a moral society that enforces morality through violence, or something like that. In any case, this was a really good write up. Your diction was clear. Your wordplay was clever when it needed to be. And you remained on topic the entire time. Good stuff.



Vote: Hush
I think Hush had the better piece overall. His words flowed better. His imagery was more visual. And he employed more clever and creative techniques. Candy's piece was cool. It had a certain level of realness to it. And there were some poetic phrases sprinkled in as well. But the wording, in and of itself, seemed a little cluttered, which broke the flow of the read, at least for me.