All right. I’m gonna try to do this. Although it feels like a goddamn homework assignment when I expected to be day drinking with my boys.
Next time, if you want to go epic, drop 32 apiece like normal humans.
I hate couplet by couplet voting, because verses aren’t just a collection of couplets like some stand up comic routine from the 50s. But, since you guys took the time, I’ll do it here.
Seriously though. Don’t pull this shit again. It’s exhausting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zuch
I'm a demon maulin' this mark..
So if you seen Devils Advocate, you KNOW this is a jog in the park.- Rudge1
Sweet opener. Although there are better Rudge lines, the fact I actually remember this 18 years later goes to show how influential that cat was.
Listen Ryan, you’re really a bit past prime
If I’m digging’ your style, it’s to bury it in a different place than I did last time
Clever.
You claim you fathered my child, that’s a perfect bet
Meanwhile, your wife is doublin’ down on her birth control like it’s Percocet
Also clever.
You’ve BEEN trying to have a kid, secret’s out
Wife holds that sad load in her cervix, turtle walks to the toilet and queefs it out
Clever again. Plus the visual, now that we know what Blue’s wife looks like. Bonus.
She LOVES the peloton, I get why you let her run that
Cause If you bought her an actual bike she would hop on that bitch and never come back
No one runs a peloton. It’s a bike. Which you acknowledged in the second bar. Strange incongruence here. But, I like where your heads at.
We know you want to fuck my girl, it made me wonder man
Until I saw your girl on the gram, no filter, and well, now I understand
Well worded. But, we all now know that Blues girl is moderately attractive. So, this doesn’t hit as hard.
My career is a life of sin, Zuch is gunnin’ hard believe
Blue’s career is also a life of Sin... acog battles in the BA going a hundred bars a piece
I can’t condone this one.
On his tombstone I’ll give dude a bit of credit to start
“Here lies Blue Bayou, he did his style just a little better than Barc”
I like it. In a music video, this scene would be black and white and you’d be standing over your dead opponents grave. Cool visual.
That’s your legacy, every topic you hit is shifted
Top tier for 12 years, the same 12 years we forgot that this shit existed
Now, that’s a personal I can get behind. Although it was more like 15 years.
Nice accomps! Looks like this kid is the top feared!
You love UPN, which is ironic since you haven’t won shit since we got here
Accomps isn’t a word. Even Destroyer knows that. But, the UPN punch is on point.
You ain’t worth a ransom, but I’m still hittin’ with ALL shots
Marker on your head? That’s just your mom trying to fill in the bald spots
Ha. Typical Blues mom move. She would totally do that.
Empty clips on the dome of the most ungodliest creature
Calm down, this ain’t the same hair-pin trigger from your Bosley procedure
Ungodliest creature is a multi I’d come up with. Slightly awkward, but borderline brilliant too. I think you could have done more with the hair-pin concept, but all in all. Cool.
When it comes to girls, all you do is get ‘em to scoff
Sex with women is like the Summer Classic, you never in your life finished one off
Yeah. That’s a punchline.
Will you lose to me again? Well, these are some deadly times
The answer is in this thread, no not THAT Answer, you already lost to him 7 times
Ok. Don’t rhyme times with times. It’s just uncouth. But, the Answer dig is kinda cool, I think.
With baldness like his, do NOT tell me this guy’s clever
Speaking of short clips, giving you a fade would be like the funniest Vine ever
I also cannot condone this.
That hairline deserves an ESPY, Stuart Scott has the plaque drawn
Chris Berman once described it as “back back back back.. gone”
I love this because it’s a reference for my generation. Chris Berman jokes. Classic.
Your losses need multiple hands, two dozen’s enough
My losses? You can count on these two fingers, like your wife does to get off
I don’t think enough and get off rhyme. But, conceptually this is cool. Although there’s a moderate chance Blues wife has entered the 21st century and discovered batteries and plastic.
I don’t stack old wordplays, that’s the class way for Blue
He’s dumping the whole notepad out on this one like it’s the last day of school
Probably accurate. That’s all I have to say about that.
I roll with killers like DC, spread like the touch of a disease
You ain’t snipe SHIT, even though you work out the trunk of a Caprice
Gotta be honest. I didn’t get this.
Hairline is breaking BAD, bangs are beggin’ to fit
Forehead so desolate I could park an RV and cook meth on that bitch
Back to the hairline. Let it go already.
I got foreign guns, take a single step and ya gone
This Spanish Armada take the top of like Veronica Vaughn
GODDAMNIT, MAN. I told you not to do it, and you did it anyway. You shouldn’t have gone here.
Since ‘01, what I’m preaching to this guy’s sick
You DO have top shelf potential Ryan, but good luck reaching it at five-six
LOL. Blue does seem short. And he totally looks like a Ryan.
You contribute nothing to this world, don’t mean to mud up ya spot
If Mankind is proud of anything, it’s for the stuff you’ve done with a sock
Gotta be honest again. I also don’t understand this one. (Wait. I get it. He threw away children by masturbating, thereby saving the world from his hideous offspring. BRILLIANT!)
You ain’t a creator, NO way you can stay hot with me
You’re about as tall as Stanley Kubrick, and that forehead is a Space Odyssey
These old school references make me smile. Technically, the title is 2001: A Space Odyssey. But, I’ll give you credit for trying.
These are impact statements, don’t forget this lesson homie
Any impact statement you make on me comes in the form of victim testimony
Yeah. I don’t know.
I stay between a bitch legs, I ain’t shook with the nonsense
‘Muff diving’ to you is hitting his archives lookin’ for concepts
Is Muff a person that is archived here?
Dissin’ my fam, but still can’t come with a sick punch
Go ahead and fuck Jamie my guy, I’ve been trying to dump her for 6 months
Dude. That’s really uncalled for. You are lucky to have Jamie, you inconsiderate prick.
You’ll do anything for respect, my crew stays with the favors
Just because you dress like Mr. Rogers doesn’t make you a Neighbor
Why you gotta diss Mr. Rogers like that. Did you see the testimony he gave before Congress? The man is a saint.
This is rape, we know that spitting truth is hard
Ajax is gonna come in here to vote and end up giving you his card
FINALLY. My name drop. It happens in every battle these days. Not sure why it took 50-whatever lines to get there, but better late than never.
This verse was tailored just for you, watch the paradox shift
Homemade BANGER, I’m on my Boston Marathon shit
Umm. That was a tragedy. Don’t make light of their suffering.
Mangled at the finish line, fans scream with no interruption
Body is Chess Club, people see it and barely notice a function
No. Just.... no.
.
|
so Scout is Barc & Culture’s Ans.. alias test is complete
now you getting votes over Dave is the only mystery left in the league
of course you love the taste of beaver with that facial feature
only guy i know that goes down on his girl & penetrates her deeper
can’t believe dickriding has given you this sort of persona
if you’re cutting up the Lime w/ ANY consistency, somebody just ordered Corona
gave himself the easiest battles, wtf, this is meant to be random
got here cuz the dumbwaiter pulled more strings then 19th century mansions
you fucking stink bro, hygiene’s depressing the clients
last time you ‘took a bath’ you lost 2 stacks to me betting the Lions
you're amazinggg, i haven’t seen such class my whole life
that’s not a compliment.. that was ur message to me after i smashed ya homesite
& i know your prison time is a topic that’s felt..
irony 101: you went thru Hell in a Cell & i'm coming out on top w/ the belt
lookin like Kid Twists kid sis, you were getting dick for days punk
first guy in history to spend all his time in the Hole & never misbehave once
i demand celebrity treatment! nahh i’m just trolling you punk
you rolled out the red carpet slipping outta my hands as i was loading the trunk
resumed my Peloton grind mannn my biking is fast..
but i’ll never be backpedaling as quick as you after recycling raps
i LOVE bloodshed, shot at close range will shatter this herb
when the first round exits it’ll be a worse look for Zuch then his battle w/ serge
it’s no wonder Jaime thinks you're worthless and scum
you got more excited for an SC Finals birth than the birth of your son
aaanddd you didn’t even win.. why you such a cocky prick?!
votes had so many Neigh Neighs Silento popped in & said Watch Me Whip
Jaime loves my penis & says my cock’s got clout
dates w/ me she’s got a crop top out.. pics w/ him she’s gotta Crop Top Out
should see how quick we hold hands to some frisky slow jams..
everyday’s a Freaky Friday bro i stay inside Jamie more than Lindsay Lohan
broke ur heart when she left you for a fun n’ frisky time..
i feel you bro Jamie did a number on me too... the number 69
he can’t find the clit so she’ll never be impressed..
keeps askin Jaime where da hood at.. she’s nicknamed him DMX
i even fucked her out in the open, wasn’t a time i wouldn’t beat it
we were right under your nose this whole time, no wonder you couldn’t see it
& for the record i came every time my dick was in
Rudge is mine, you’re a Bigger Fake Dad then Kanye’s gift to Kim
it’s Mr. Steal yo’ girl.. pulling Jaime was light work
next ‘bachelor’ Rudge has hanging over his crib is you changing his diaper
using rulers for shin pads.. god you’re little dude
you don’t skip leg day, you SKIP leg day cuz a squat would cripple you
those bad genetics makes bitches never holler at all..
how do you even walk? you got some dog legs i wouldn’t pay a dollar to golf
fuck your wedding invitation, i ain’t prone to follow friends
i’m only going to leave paperclips around the house.. in hopes Rudge swallows them
Astra .22 shoot ya baby grab the nine n’ ringgg
when you see Young Zazu pummeled by a Cub it ain’t The Lion King
i know you’re not a narc Zuch, you ain’t that kinda animal dawg
your Covers Blown cuz there’s NO WAY a kleenex could handle the job
my blood is my unit, i’ll gather every single can n’ then..
Caulkin to clap when you home alone.. question ever seeing your fam again
you’re simple as fuck man, i guarantee the hype’ll fade
got a Direct Approach that couldn’t Blow Up w/ the help of Michael Bay
if you wanna improve & stop getting mauled in cyphers..
so many Minor Changes are needed you told Jamie u’d handle allll the diapers
fuck Masters conditions & every golfer testin the shit..
only guy worried about Augusta Wind is Zuch on a hike next to a cliff
pack a swisher at the same time my cash delivers..
that’s why i’m not taking any Top Lip, he’s got a smaller ‘stache then Hitler
make em sign out cryin from my crazy finish
it’s nothin’ to push a faggot out.. shiiiit even Jaime did it
Dope.
All right, after all that. Both of you guys are solid, competent, comedic writers. You make poor judgments regarding verse length, but all in all that’s a minor flaw. You’re good men... and thorough. And I commend you on your verses.
But, I’m gonna have to call this a tie.
Cheers.