[sral]

Okay gentleman, let’s get into this one... battle of the week!

So my first thoughts on the image were that it had a bleakness to the innocence, a very dark colour tonal palette utilised and lots of sharp disjointed lines with what appears to be a gallows looming in the background? The three wooden puppets could have their metaphorical strings pulled in a few directions here, which lends itself to many threads. The idea of some sort of take on the Pinocchio puppet might be an option, maybe something with a wood chipper or carpenter having them meet their demise, maybe like them venturing Hansel and Gretel style into the woods only for the trees to take their revenge on our wooden figures perhaps? It’s interesting for sure. I would have preferred this image this round. There’s plenty of options available. Let’s see what you both have...

Johnny: I enjoyed how you went directly with what was displayed to help build up your world here, placing the reader firmly inside what was shown. The opening couplet hinted at something sinister to come, and I like that. “Talk of (the) village was noticeable but not enough to distract from what was happening for me, the taxation line recalled an earlier couplet by you in another verse if I remember correctly? It definitely has a familiar vibe. The tower tip to turf was a nice bit of alliteration to pull off there, but the standout line “The tortures artist hurts the hardest when he lets his creations go,” was fire. Very relatable. The internal rhyming seems to kick up a notch around this section also, which I’m always a fan of seeing, and you use it naturally in the “In his dreams the figurines...” line which comes off super clean. Just all around good writing from a technical standpoint there. The round hole and square pegs jawn was another nice addition here, definitely quotable, the Gepetto twist at the finale was executed well also as one of my first thoughts was Pinocchio-esque when I saw it, so I enjoyed that twist too. Somewhat leftfield though not entirely.

Adverse: I wasn’t entirely sure where you were going with it at first, all the mentions of this fourth character threw me somewhat until the mention of them being orphaned. The war aspect was fitting, but what really lifts this beyond the image is your world building and descriptive language - going outside the box creatively and managing to create this scenario for them that exists outside of what’s seen. I think you played your card well here; opting for your stronger hand of visual imagery to do the storytelling for you over just describing what went down. You gave them a conflict, their own war, their own struggle to survive in these dower circumstances. ‘The sea of green uniforms stretched out before us like an unending forest’ was dope. The ending was somewhat unexpected and I almost didn’t like the idea of the girl slashing her wrist because I don’t think a child would be thinking of that (or shouldn’t be LOL) but bringing it right back to it being a wooden dolls house after all that superbly described war action was a really fun idea and executed well beside that one section, I really enjoyed it. This is tough. I liked Johnny’s in the sense of it’s shorter line lengths and technical aspects coupled with some absolute zinger quotables that he’s always known for, but the descriptive imagery, storytelling and creative twist to Adverse’ piece ultimately won me over here. This turned out to be a really good battle, both had some heat but I’ve got Adverse winning.

Keep those pens moving!