[Universe]

Amazing battle. Don't sleep on this one, people. I'll kick things off.

J6F - Beautifully crafted as always. Flow was on point. I enjoyed this story - This topic wasn't exactly the best but you took it in the direction that it seemed to want to go. That's both a positive and a negative, in a way. Yes, it fit like a glove... but also it was fairly predictable. That said, there weren't many options and I think, working within the parameters that you were given, you did a great job here. I feel, after re-reading your verse, that you are fine tuning your craft to a razor's edge. Everything is tightened up and bordering on flawless, technically. You keep getting better, and that's scary... (I should get my rematch in sooner than later I think lol.)

Highlights:

"It's a paradox to be a subject, but rule a thousand earths
To build them by wood and paintbrush from tower tip to turf"

- subject that rules a thousand earths was dope.

"The tortured artist hurts the hardest when he lets his creations go
Sees his projects, all his children, as they skip down the road"

- Real talk. Kind of how we all feel after our stories are put to rest and voted on... out of our control now.

"In his dreams the figurines wave as they depart from home
Hit the crossroads, lost souls,*'Don't leave!'*a heartfelt groan"

- Nice multi's here.

"Round hole in his heart these square pegs couldn't fill
Beady eyes like twin voids in their heads give him chills"

- Round hole - square pegs... well done.

The thing about a J6F verse is that they are so damn smooth to read, yet packed with detail. This is extremely hard to do, yet you make it look easy. Kudos on a job well done, and my condolences for your recent loss in the family. The fact that you are still writing is a testament to your passion for this. I've seen it in from day one and it just keeps growing.


Adverse - Damn... This was one hell of a story. Visceral as fuck. I felt like I was watching a war movie with shaky cameras as everything unfolded. You really did an outstanding job putting me in the moment... it didn't feel like a story. It felt like a first hand account of things happening NOW, like right now. I was literally glued to the screen, and when I finished I put my phone down and just sort of stared into the distance lol... fuck. Okay, so obviously I loved this, but there were some negatives. Long, awkward flow at points - just didn't seem as technically polished as Johnny's. But that's not how you write - you are a very intense and deep writer that likes to connect with people emotionally... And you did that here in a BIG way. Again, this topic kind of sucked, but you turned water to wine here, my friend...

Highlights:

"The bombs burst, Painting the night sky with red streaks of destruction and pride
Wartime ash clings to my clothing like we clung to her side
Her warm flesh against ours brought us an abundance of light
For as long as I can remember it’s only been her, my two brothers and I"

- I'm going to highlight this beginning because I appreciate the rhyme scheme going on for longer than just a bar. It's rare nowadays that people can carry a flow, and I appreciate it everytime someone does it right.

"Soldiers monotonously march through the square, a scene that’s quite morbid
Choking on the dust from their boots as we choke down our rice portions
A sea of military green uniforms stretched out before us like an unending forest
Like a barrier to protect us from the intruders, an impregnable fortress"

- And again lol. Dope visuals.

"Warriors catching drops on their tongues, as their blades clash, metal screaming to the sky
The dirt roads tinted maroon as our soldiers drop seemingly like flies"

- I mean, Addy is LIVING this story. It's so intense to me.

"As the savages rip open the closed doors of the residences below us
She hugs me and my brothers closely, and then in the same motion she throws us
Splinters fly as we tumble across the course, wooden floors…
If only now I could scream those words I couldn’t before"

- Like fuck... I'm just as invested re-reading this.

"With the kick of a hardened boot the door flew off of its hinges revealing the image
Of a girl face down on the floor, in a room painted crimson
I gained a different perspective glazed in your gore, laying on the floor
Witnessing hopelessness painting the cobblestone even greyer than before"

- Jesus. I got chills. Again.

Ending was good too but I think the overlong flow fucked it up for me, just a little.

Dude, this may be my favorite piece from you yer. This is what's called firing on all cylinders. The technical aspects held you down from perfection here, but this was as close as you've come, imo. I've beaten you twice in topicals... but, if I'm being honest, I don't think I would've beaten this.

So, I mean, how do you choose? A technically flawless piece that's honed to near perfection like a diamond, or a rambling chaotic story that literally made my hair stand up and put a lump in my throat? I think, to me, I would be doing everyone a disservice by not going with the story that literally affected me in a physical way. I think Adverse reached out from the screen here and leveled me. Johnny was near perfection but didn't have the same emotional impact. But I mean, can't really go wrong either way with these two.

Vote - Adverse

Love you both.