This is great stuff, as a reader you had me the whole way, its executed in a way u knew something out of the blue was about to happen, almost. The anxiety conveyed throughout is well done, great feel to the verse and this character and obvs u get the pay off/ answer at the end. Great storytelling, technically its very good as well tbf, I prefer/ appreciate the rhyming and overall structure of pieces but that kinda takes a backseat here but it does stand out which is always a plus… Again it’s such a shame this wasn’t presented in competitive form but I thoroughly enjoyed it. One of your better verses imho. keep that motherfucking pen moving.
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