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Old 09-11-2020, 02:59 PM   #1
Razah
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Chicago.
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I’m driving with her purse, a gun in my hand feeling like Madea

Lol, that made me laugh.

Not sure how I feel about a rape story. Or, how it ties into the picture. The flow was there, wordplay, well worded, except, for the worsened bar..

Idk, it was written well. I just don't like the idea behind it or how I don't see how it matched the topic.


Johnny;

Evenings swimming in rage, drinking my bank account dry

Sanctuary in my silver screens, their glow a brilliant sheen
Broadcast subliminal whispers to the ears of willing teens

I liked those lines.

Anger / answer not rhyming threw the flow off. It was smoooth until then.

Overall, really solid verse. This tied into the topic very well. Enjoyable read.

vJohnny
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