Bladed - thought this was a nice story, it didn’t pull the rug out from under your readers with the twist but it was still effective and I liked how it gradually revealed itself while the verse moved forward. You paint some good images here “local monoliths is metallic chateaus” was dope, also liked how the car ride was described, like I said I didn’t necessarily expect the ending but it wasn’t the biggest reveal, which I don’t think hurt you here. Loved how your verse was intertwined by these multiple syllables throughout they really weaves everything together.
I love the way you guys approached the topic of heartbreak similar to one another but where Thesis ended with darkness Objective’s was more hopeful.
Objective - Honestly I’ve knocked you a few times for not being very linear in a storytelling sense but this story was told well imo. You’re another guy in the same vein as Thesis connects his piece well together with the rhyming and you painted some good pictures here as well.
“Twenty years went past with marriage trashed,
it was the mold that stayed.”
I loved this bar.
Like I previously mentioned I liked the ups and downs of your verse emotionally. Starts out with love, then heartbreak and then new found love in the wake of destroying the past love? It was really poetic and I hate how much you guys’ pieces echoed each other and dealt
With such similar themes it makes it difficult to pick the winner here.
Ultimately I’m leaning towards Thesis really liked his story it was solidly told, plus I’m more of a melancholy-tone kind of guy so it might come down to that preference in the end. This is a close one that could go either way but I’m going with
Thesis
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