[Sharp]

Feelin thorough today. Going for feedback as well as a vote

Mannn... nobody from Gen Z would say Wand 'floss' or's 'on fleek'
But they would say he's fly cus they saw that beak and thought u were an Osprey, g
little thing - 'they would say he's fly..... Thought you were an osprey - you used second and third person in the same sentence in a way that's grammatically off, which can be distracting to the reader. Bar isn't bad but I think the fly/beak connection is a little basic
What an awful physique, scrawny/snobby always acting like he mad nice
4'8 stature but with that fucking 'nose to the sky' he's at least Shaq's height
not a bad idea, but why is 'nose to the sky' in quotes? Is there a wordplay thing going on? Usually our guys tend to put quotes like that around a whole double entendre. Unless there's some wordplay I'm missing, you're going for a humor angle with a double entendre delivery. You could afford to ham up the humor here for effect.
Dude's structure plain weird, something's not right with that dome
Literally lookin like my pubes grew limbs and took up a life of their own
here's the humor. Unfortunately it's a meh from me. On a third read I can't really see the connection aside from a curl in his hair
Dog got more shine than you, but you think you look good? Fuckin nerd ass
Exis the only person who considers this a "thirst trap"
okay, but the thirst trap angle doesn't do so well for me because it's clearly a pic of the dog. Still funny. Exis memes aside obv
Them proportions is wild man, if I was you I'd be upset bro
How the fuck we only see half your face in this pic and it's still 90% nose
lol cool. The delivery here is safe but effective for what you're trying to say. Would recommend using this kind of delivery for humorous observations more (obviously not verbatim every time, but the fake incredulity helps get the bars across a lot)
You're a virgin, a geek talm bout murder like you dispersin the heat
I mean if you got so many gats where they at? In that purse on the seat?
nice end rhyme. Whole bar flows well. Bar itself is light. I like what you're going for here but it really didn't help that he didn't drop much gun shit aside from one setup. There also isn't much potential for a humorous observation here; imo those are best suited for your opponent's actual look. I think going after his gunbar-y style isn't a bad idea, but it would probably need some element of wordplay to hit.
And Sharp ROASTED me in the mag, I ain't bugging though it's fine
Because you just being in that whip cements the fact that your Van's uglier than mine
funny, solid. I wouldn't go all caps in the setup to make it look that bad... You're a battle rapper... Have some pride, say it with your chest out


In ur kid brothers clothes so I’m bettin u don’t strap tecs
If we say we saw a hammer poking out ur waist it’s in reference to that vest
I don't think that's a vest

Jesus christ you're lucky I Google everything I don't get. Turns out brits literally call that kind of clothing a vest. It's a good concept but you could word it harder. 'I'm reference to' really lacks the sting. Nothing wrong with sounding nerdy but that's sentence space that can be used sounding harsher (meaning a more effective hit)
This won’t even be close cos i’m on a separate page
Ur style still in its infancy clearly matching ur mental age
the style in infancy is a good connection. The 'mental age' is a little off tbh. Why not just compare it to his dress sense? 9 times out of 10 less is more here
They see ur potential? We’ll agree to disagree, this work is an art
& speaking of splitting hairs... those eyebrows couldn’t be further apart
we we're talking about splitting hairs. Set up could've been way stronger/more connected, but the punch itself is good
Srsly those eyes are FREAKY. I’d love to press the gat to ur dome
This bitch a drag queen on his day off. U can tell he’s left his lashes at home
I don't really see a surprising lack of eyelashes here. Probably not worth going after tbh.
Barc’s tat got nothing on those sharks so lap it up, queer
Ad loves sea-life so tell us.. WHAT species of clam is ur ear?
second and third person in the first half of the punch is a little awkward. The end rhyme is just one syllable and I'm only pointing that out because I think you went for a multi. Punch itself is silly, passable, but a light hit
& disloyal friends is what this low-life attracts
That rear windshield’s a plain example of how much dirt’s thrown behind ur back
I don't think it's dirt. If you had just said shade this would've been dope
This scream sex offenders register. u’ll die a rapey bloke
That vest makes tonnes of sense.. a slimy predator tryna stay afloat
I like this in theory. 'die a rapey bloke' is weird phrase but it gets a pass. This would be more effective if you led into it with your bar about him dressing like a child because it's a bit of a jump to from 0 to 'you're dressed like you want to attract children so you're a sex offender' which is the premise of the bar


I got ad with a few more solid hits. Both had a few bars that might have been harder with different execution.

V/Adverse