I liked both entries for different reasons, I'm not going to write a wall of text here but just know I appreciate both of you gentlemen and look up to both of your writtens.
Really liked the simplicity that your verse possessed but also some hidden layers, think you wrapped it up well with the closing lines by saying that this grandiose tale of love and loss spawned from a simple tinder date I liked that and things like
These few days have been bliss, losing my self in her whims
Time is funny, Her body my canvas, I’ve painted every inch
I was really a fan of and sounded like something I would write haha overall your piece was a great little capture of a minute in time and space and brought it to life for us. Biggest complaint was it was a litttttle bit off topic imo but obviously if you both did the same thing that would have been boring as well
Lars:
Awesome read as well was a fan of it, loved the descriptive nature of the corpse reanimating and small bits like that, I had the same qualm with missing that big chunk of life in the middle but also thought the parts you went into depth with more than made up for it. Very technically sound and the story progressed nicely here.; Your verse kind of overshadows Inno's here though his was graceful like a previous voter said you just "out muscled" him here
V/Lars
|