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Adverse Definitely different. Thanks for sharing.
As a singer, there are moments where it kind of sounds like you're guessing where the pitch is. I'm an elementary music teacher/chorus director, so sorry if I sound like I'm dumbing stuff down (just a habit). If you have a guitar or piano or anything like that at home, I would see if you could actually plink out the melody - no need to notate or anything because you seem to know it - and then try singing along as you play. Especially when you're making jumps (think the word 'lyrics' at :54) you're pretty clearly out of tune at first then move into what sounds right.
Don't take that as harsh. It shows you have a good enough ear to recognize that 'this note sounds good' but just are getting there reactively. I can't really speak to the lyrics because I'm not really great with those.
Far as the song structure goes, you did a great job organizing it around the beat. I'm assuming this wasn't made for you specifically so you had to write to an existing recording. The song structure lines up perfectly. Nothing kills a song like this quite like being a bar off, so good job.
If you ever want to collaborate on something like this, I play guitar and bass. Feel free to hit me up