[BOOM]

First off, salute to both of you for coming through with this shit. I know it isn’t easy and thoroughly deserves a breakdown for the effort you’ve both shown here, I’ve a feeling we may struggle for votes this round given the lengthy line limits and verses. Lol.

I’ll be breaking down both verses as I read through them. My first thoughts on the topic are thats it’s philosophical in nature, either to do with the fact you have to address the root of the problem in order to solve it or it could be taken as someone that finds happiness in others misfortune etc I believe that’s where the Germanic word “schadenfreude” comes from. The first take seems to offer more in the way of an intelligent take you could develop; the second maybe something more light hearted and comedic. Truth be told here I think the first idea is the route to go for, it lends itself to the quotation far more, it’s direct and tackles the subject matter head on, definitely the more preferable in terms of execution. Let’s see how you guys took it...


The Lady In The Attic

Uni this is dope! Reminds me of me. The “annoying prayer/avoid is bare/noise up there” carry over rhyme is fire.

Should I get up? The choice is clear but I don't want to see
No honestly, it's probably my wife's ghost haunting me

This is a clever switch up of the rhyme, the compound masculine sounds form together to give it a more rapid fire change of pace that I thoroughly enjoyed. I’m not sure how many will catch exactly what you’re doing there, but it was a deft touch and not one I’m overlooking at all. Nice penmanship for sure.

Belongings in the attic was nice, followed by more well worked internal rhymes from a technical standpoint while building on the storytelling.

he's still at that odd age
Of believing monsters on pages; I'd rather avoid the latest chapter
Yanked the hanging hatch, the attic groaned, I climbed the makeshift ladder

Very good use of imagery here, particularly around “the attic groaned” which was a fantastic description to use. It creates a realistically visual image for the reader both in the sound, but also the idea of the mouth of this “hanging hatch” dropping open - almost as if waiting to consume those that dare to enter it. I’m a horror fan so this appealed to me a lot in fact. You did a lot with a few words here. It’s complex in its seeming, albeit deceiving, simplicity.

I'm used to listening to the ground as he wept
For hours on end, I only truly move around when he slept

The rhyme scheme used again here is very much to my likening, the lines are crisp and short, but they’re also brimming with the mechanics of the piece and have multi syllable rhymes at their heart carrying the couplet and driving it forward - also helping it have a rhymthic cadence and implied flow that works very well in the format. It takes a high degree of skill to pull all of this off in the space of so few words while maintaining that standard of writing, flow, and still tell a natural sounding story. I think this is top tier stuff.

Coulda swore it was open... Shit. God knows I'm nothing but emphatic
Yet I no longer listen to the man upstairs, just to the woman in the attic

LOL I loved the humorous (punch)lines like this inserted so often and this one deserves quoting. Fire. It’s become somewhat of a lost art in the world of topicals due to straight storytelling taking precedent in recent years but I’m old skool and still really enjoy snippets like this, even if I feel I’ll be one of the few to quote it as dope. I was a text battler way before I tried topicals so shit like that will forever be dope to me, personally. It’s a very underrated (and under-utilised IMHO) element but I, for one, have nothing but love for this style of writing.

Being born in the wrong body left me needing a plan
The source of my unhappiness was simply... being a man

LOL again at this couplet, I’m having a lot of fun with this as I read through but this line is another standout quotable for me for reasons similar to the one above. I enjoy the writing, and the humour it has in this line and first, but you also manage to balance that out with some emotion ejected into it - it feels very real at the same time, making the reader actually feel for the person involved. This isn’t easy to do. Especially for it being a widowed cross dresser we’re talking about. Wildly creative idea.

To him Barbie IS Ken; "Pretty daddy..." is all that was said
He trims the doll's blond hair with scissors... Then cuts off the head

“Barbie IS Ken” was such a good concept to help wrap things up poignantly toward the end, just all round great writing and to know you turned this around on short notice is crazy. You were definitely amped for this round you crazy Canadian fuck. Five flame emojis.



Adverse: You has dope imagery and turns of phrase out the gate with that “braids of Autumn” line that was a super slick visual to start things off. This following couplet is worth quoting though:

Your pale skin dotted with freckles, we lovingly call them angel kisses
You're my favorite image, I anticipate your often much too brief daily visits

As the rhyme scheme is fire, employing the same pattern as I quoted earlier up top from Uni and shows you’re matching him blow for blow here from a technical standpoint. Straight heat from the opening lines. The thing I notice more so in yours is the strength in your descriptive imagery, the finer details, this ability to bring the story to life with fantastic descriptive nouns as you paint a picture for the reader and you’re one of the best in the league at doing this. The vocabulary used is very strong with wording such as “illuminated phantom,” “nonchalantly,” “grieving eyes,” (which was a fire visual by the way). It’s all very strongly composed and you don’t waste a word.

I sit and linger on your life of fallacy
Spotlighted by the dying evening light peaking through the blinds, a silent tragedy

This here’s another great example of your storytelling ability creating a strong visual for the reader “the dying evening light peaking through the blinds,” was my personal favourite. It reminds me of NYCSPITZ somewhat and I mean that as a compliment.

Your faintest kiss is always a painful reminder that smolders on my flesh
Yet it's a chilling reminiscent that makes me colder in the same breath..

Here’s another great example of the skill set deployed, the poetic penmanship and the high degree of technical merit exhibited in both would prove a tough match for anyone. This is the best Adverse we’ve seen IMO. “Blues hues of melancholia,” arguably deserves a mention to from the closing of that stanza, it’s too good to be overlooked and I see you bruh.

I could do a million amazing things, but my legacy will forever be
My hands covered in your blood and all the words I never let you speak

The flow here in this quote was butter, maybe not your typical text topical type line but that’s a good thing IMO - this comes off silky smooth in its execution as a result with the first line blending seemingly into the second, almost like one run on sentence rather than a couple of two lines. This reads very, very cleanly and showcases more your songwriting than topical writing somewhat - unorthodox for a text league piece as I say, but dope nonetheless.

Legs starting to burn from the last half a decade runnin and duckin
My Dad hung the stars in my night sky just so I could peel every one of them from yours, it's poetic injustice

The first line is really nice, good metaphor to run with (pun ALWAYS intended!), the idea of the follow up line with “Dad hung the stars in the night sky,” was dope on first read - I did feel it was slightly elongated syllable count wise making the line feel too long at first, but then when I got to the closing line (no spoilers for those that haven’t read the verse yet) it almost takes on a dual meaning and I fucked with it even more so. Kudos, sir!

Okay, so this battle is almost a clash of executions - rather than styles - for me at least. I know you never usually hear that said, but that’s as best as I can describe it as both of you are similar in terms of your storytelling abilities and technical prowess, even rhyme scheme wise there were spots where you went identical to each other which is pretty crazy to me. For every line where Universe injects a more comedic and lighthearted tone to balance out his darker twisted themes, Adverse counters in terms of emotional draw and a rich tapestry of visual imagery he brings to lift the characters from the page and place them firmly in the mind of the reader, before pulling the rug from under us at the end. The twist wasn’t one I saw coming, but then neither was Uni’s so again that almost balances things out for me personally. Honestly the two of you put on here, there’s no real loser, but since we need to select one of you the deciding factor, overall, for me here comes down to the creativity and originality - and for that I’m going with Universe as I felt he excelled in that area and it made the verse the more entertaining read to me. This will be battle of the round if not tourney, I’m sure of it.