View Single Post
Old 07-23-2020, 08:21 PM   #9
Johnny 6 feet
Storyteller
 
Johnny 6 feet's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 446
Battle Record: 8-4


Champed
- Guerrilla Writing League

Rep Power: 5558447
Johnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant future
Default

Exis- Thanks for subbing in man. You stopped this first week from having a no-show and I appreciate it. Your take was an interesting idea but it lacked substance beyond the initial concepts. Some shock imagery here with the rape reference. I caught the sentiment at the end but it needed more of a narrative or concept exploration to pull it together. Keep on rising dude.

dead man- Guess it didn't really hit me that the quote I gave you lined up with your name. Total accident I promise. You hit the nail on the end with your take on the topic, for some reason it put me in mind of a dark alternative version of Madonna's Ray of Light video. People rushing through life, stuck in their distractions, slaves to the ceaseless grind of a 9-5. Something we can all relate to. Your brought a strong rhyme scheme woven neatly throughout and back it upped with strong vocab to bring the images together. Kudos.

Vote- dead man
Johnny 6 feet is offline