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Old 07-23-2020, 06:23 PM   #8
Razah
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I didn't like any part of Exis' verse. I don't really consider that a verse, to be honest.

Deadman didn't seem too streamlined, but some of the wording makes something that simple have so much more impact.

Wording was really on point, and I liked the contradictions through out the verse. Solid piece.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dead man View Post
another hole to punch. a new intestine to puncture

caffeine at 0 six-hundred for the energy boost

and filtered it through lemon wedge and bourbon solutions

conqueror to castaway to nervous recluse
instincts both primordial and ... currently useless

board planes to New York, on guided terrorist tours
ignore me please go listen to your stereo more
vdeaddd
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