[Scar]

universe yeah this was really good. there were instances of questionable wording like "yell and just run" and "primal owl" i still dont' know what that means and "simple and clean" which i think was forced just to rhyme with "into the street". but with a verse this length, it was bound to have some kinks so no big deal honestly. i like the lesson even though its a bit morbid and very unsettling lulz but the idea of necessary progression and the tide of change stuff was well delivered and did not lose steam at all at least to me anyway. well done my man.

adverse, another awesome entry. i'm a big fan of hemingway as im sure a lot of us are since we all kind of use his style in one way or another lulz. and let me say, "own master piece/ wyoming mountain peak" was fuckin awesome! but with that said, alot of the problem with this verse was the rhyming. im find with slants and near rhyme but i think what hurts it is the syllables of the rhymes you know? its hard to explain but like this line here: breeze softly blows/ of chicago - like it was jarring. there were a few instances of that. but content-wise i love this verse. its about an author but it has this very intimate feel about it. love the old man and the sea references and i almost wish there were more instances of that.

this is a hard one. i like universe for the scope of his story. this guy always put effort and thats why he's one of my favorite writers on the site. but there's something about adverse verse that did it for me. despite the less than stellar technical merits, his story had a more personal connection to me. not sure if its cause im a fan of Hemingway or if cause i like documentaries lulz but i think i will go against popular opinion and

v/adverse.