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Old 06-26-2020, 07:01 PM   #9
Johnny 6 feet
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Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 446
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symetrik- Damn, swim for the other shore and get eaten by a kraken huh? A very old format being used here that had an archaic charm that i found endearing. This is kind of thing you'd picture some medieval bard serenading a crowd with. Why do I suddenly want ale? Strong use of vocab and imagery throughout although I felt the repetition of some lines took away from the piece slightly. But this was an original take that stayed true to the topic. Very nice.

Inno- A personal touch in your submission which I'd bet my last coin that every new father can relate to on a personal level. You set the scene nicely and got inside the characters head right away. It was smooth sailing to read to from start to finish. His fears, ambitions and resignation really made him seem 3 dimensional before the heart warming punchline at the end that his daughter was truly his world. Put a smile on my face. Imagery was clear, vocab flowed nicely, no line was wasted. Great work.

Vote- Inno
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