Word this was pretty cool..
the story it told was dope, and the writing was nice as well...
nice use of verbs 'tunneling,traveling'
wordchoice was pretty dope, maybe a few more adj's for imagery sake...but then again u have an image already...so the verbs bring it to life.
scheme wise it worked, sometimes seeming at risk of becoming 'sing-songy' but then u would change up ur placement of internals and it would totally save it...without sacraficing flow...ur ability to manipulate that scheming was prolly the highlight to me..bc it allowed it to flow cohesively, tell ur story and avoid getting stale.
u depict the picture nicely, and did well with the topic...
overall i enjoyed this.
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