[dead man]

addiction vs. serial pet murderer. 2 distinct demons. not altogether an unpredictable take for either party. i guess what i'm saying is i would have been partial to a more nuanced approach for either of these in relation to the image. we've all got demons under our bed and our skin and there are lots of ways to take that. anyway

inno, your verse kinda crept up on me. your voice is... i'll say conversational when reading this. you had some really awkward kinds of devices that i wasn't really fond of.

"bitch is just persistent"

the word JUST is probably the worst word to employ in almost any hypothetical situation where you're wondering if you should or should not use it. JUST don't.

"fill my lungs with air to billow out the fright"

billow out the fright is kinda trash bro. sorry. not good.

I whisper son only god can hear me “lord please protect me I’m so scared”

actually laughed at this

but your story was graphic and told well. covered a lot of the physical sensations actually characterizing withdrawal and the shame you feel even before the deed is done. can definitely respect your pacing, it feels natural in its progression to where you're headed so that was cool. but some of the writing itself did take me out of it for a second.

bodey came with a larger scope, family dynamic, emotional void, cookie cutter life, ex bf who she had some sort of unconscious hatred for. schizo animal murderer. i liked your bazooka joe and cherry slushy line. always a fan of specificity. it makes everything stronger. apparently its why people like country music according to malcolm gladwell. but yeah. writing was like inno, conversational but had a clearer voice. it did a good job of narration. moved along well, and was easy to get into.

"a thirst I couldn’t pail"

???

not sure what this even means

regardless

voting bodey