Bodey - Cool take and cool verse. You're getting better at rhyming e.g. 'house pets' - nice rhyme there. Overall, the personal touches were nice, like the vile taste of the mouth, the poor hygiene, the example of the past encounters with kittens. The writer's voice was definitely Bodey. I got the serial killer psychology storyline and its execution was pretty fair. It's a hard genre/angle to really make convincingly unique or out-of-the-box. Some people are just genuinely crazy and like killing people/things. Good job, looks like this wasn't easy to put together.
Inno - That was an unexpected flip on the topic at the end there. I was waiting for a twist to come to bring light to the previous scene-setting language, of suffering, darkness, pain, etc. and it came in an unconventional way. Cool twist. The language of the verse got better towards the end. The beginning to middle had quite a few phrases that are used often in a lot of writing, like cold sweat, blood boiling... but interestingly you used 'claws' and Bodey's last line was about claws lol.
I thought Inno did a bit better this week. Bodey's ending was a bit less impactful than Inno's, even though her language was a bit tighter and she showed more personal touch. Inno's lunge at the end had more of a sense of closure.
Thanks for the reads.
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