Elfo- A diss piece with character development. Interesting take. I liked how you related the theme of drowning to drug addiction. A solid take on the topic. You conveyed the frustration of the narrator looking at someone who was basically killing themselves and there was nothing he could do about it. A few filler lines here and there, but you brought the imagery, vocab was solid, some nice internals in your rhyme scheme too.
brokenhal0- metaphors and obscure meanings had this reading more like a poem than a straight topical. I appreciate an original style, and you clearly have a good command of your vocab, but I felt you went a little too overboard (pun intended) with some of the lines in this which made it difficult to follow as a result. And this is coming from a guy with a degree in English Literature. Some lines were overstretched which interrupted the flow of the piece, but you connected clearly to the image you were given and there was plenty to spark the imagination of the reader in your effort.
Vote- Elfo
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