Okay first of all great showing from both story wise, engaging and both kind of dealt with the same sort of mental deterioration.
Scar
I liked your story here but it felt really bland compared to the stories you’ve told up to this point in the league which may be my fault for putting expectations so high but at the rate you came out of the gates swinging I think I have just had higher expectations for you narratively. Also I didn’t really like the day 1: thing etc they may have worked better as like diary entry’s or something in that vein? Also didn’t enjoy the common grammar mistakes and what not as I think Artifice said it’s probably because of the difference in accent but whatever the case be it kind of threw me off as a reader. You did some great things though your imagery was top notch I could see everything, rhyming was good. Vocab stuck out. Think this was still a good verse but fell a little flat compared to your overall body of work this season.
Bodey - Though you came into this week being unsure of yourself (self doubt gang) you really shined here, I loved how we got to see your character at the start of her decline and her rapid descent to insanity. The mental health shtick was relatable and you just had a great way to put me into your character’s shoes, think the ending was a little predictable but that didn’t bother the overall piece too much imo. It was a good read and I enjoyed it from beginning to end.
Overall I think Bodey had this in the bag this week, thought her self doubting was unnecessary and she rode her recent success wave to a champ win. Good battle
V/Bodey
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