ender, this seems to be a dialed in verse just to make the deadline. its commendable, but i'm still waiting on the ssj 4 form, you know? the execution is pretty basic although clean. there were no fancy play on word or super creative complex, just a straight forward story one would tell to a friend lulz. i like it, i mean its not the most advance verse, especially in comparison to alot of this week's verses but it knows where the end point is and it went for the straightest path possible lulz.
inno, this was definitely a lot more complex, language wise. the content was interesting. its not anything new, mind you but i love how you went in on it. the last stanza were some of the most resplendent piece of writing i've read since my tenure here. there's so much texture to it. the poignancy, the allusion to films .. it was beautiful my man. i only qualm here was the flow. and i love this couplet
"those nights the wind blew a little harder.
and the moon hung in the sky a little longer."
like i couldn't really catch it. the first stanza was clear it had the abba structure but then after that i was a little lost. the rhyme consisted predominantly of assonance. it took a lot of concentrating to actually catch some kind of rhythm and even then it was very ambiguous. at least to me any way.
this is a strange battle. we have one thats very bare in idea and rhyme mechanics then we have one thats complex in idea and even venturing into a "too" complex way of rhyming. content wise i think inno won by a pretty decent margin, but flow wise, despite its simplicity, ender won by an almost same amount of margin because, to me anyway, inno rhyme scheme was almost non-existence and i feel in a league like that, rhyme should count because if not, i know people here that would write some of the dopest things if they didn't have restrictions of rhymes you know? aw man this is a hard one. as great as inno verse was conceptually, i felt ender's verse was more complete meaning it had a story, rhymes, and somewhat of an intrigue going for it, while inno verse was profound, but if you're not without the restriction of that rhyming factor, i feel anyone can write a profound essay you know? i'm still conflicted but i have to go with my gut feeling.
v/ ender
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