I had the dream again…
Where I come to, tangled in the overgrown weeds of my memory
There, drowning beneath the grass blades is my sweetest serenity
It’s just a mind game that sleep plays but if left up to me I would never leave
Reliving the classics on repeat, every scene you’re here next to me
….but as I awaken on our apartment’s sofa, each time is ruder and abrupt
Reluctantly mustering a defeated breath, inhaling the accumulated dust
Been an eternity since you've gone...I've been caught in the slew of the last few months
At ground zero, drunkenly shuffling through debris in the ruins of our love
A beautifully decayed bouquet stoically sits next to a "happy anny" note I scribbled up
The once radiant yellow flowers befell the same fate as me, to wither and die without your touch
And when i find uncommon breaks in New York traffic and the noise all settles
I think how breathtaking you looked even as the cancer destroyed your vessel
Silk white dress, already looked the part as you ascended into heaven
Can't escape the stain of your remnants our possessions are possessed by your essence
So I chase my breath to the balcony, where the cemented ocean stretched out below us
On most nights we'd catch a high, cast a line and fish for locomotives
Picking each other's brains, inventing new ways to shift the focus..
It's all so crystal clear but just out of reach, so i can't quite grip the moments
I climb the railing, sidestep till i find the perfect perch to end this accursed limbo
I look adjacent to a window finding a crow, the universal symbol
My theatrics garner an audience, like schools of sharks, antsy for carnage
Stomach conjuring acid, I drown them all in the delayed splash of my vomit
As I try to follow suit, and force my feet of clay to make the bravest step..
I feel the ghost of your sweet caress lay across the nape of my neck
"Come be with me darling…" in the ghastly voice lies the courage to leap from this ledge
As I zoom to the earth and make impact, every bystander on the street is painted red…
….but as I awaken on the sofa, every time gets more abrupt and rude
Clutching at the request you left on my neck responding “I would love to…”
But no matter how many times I’ve tried, I haven’t been able to see it through
So close yet so far, but I'll die a million more times over just to be with you
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