Dark as midnight and stark in it's detail. I could picture the scene clearly. Saw the quote in your sig, the difference is you didn't wallow in repetition but just used it in the early going to emphasise the relentless stress your narrator was feeling and it drove the point home. The breaks between text conveyed erratic thoughts which added to the mood and the short punchline at the end showed the end to the chaos. Poetic. Very good.
I'll keep an eye peeled for more of your stuff. Please rtf.
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