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Old 05-04-2020, 12:09 PM   #11
Adverse
low tide in serotonin bay
 
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,752
Battle Record: 37-28


Champed
- GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II

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Cool battle here guys

PA - You had a nice narrative and the ABCs thing was a cool gimmick imo but i think it took away more than it added, when you do something like that, you have to bend your schemes to obey its rules but i think you did it with grace and it didn't affect your read much. I liked that you added the extra layer to your writing in order to make it competitive with the veteran dead man and i think you did it pretty well.

dead man - this is the first week your writing felt fictional to me, I don't mean that in a bad way. I just mean usually you're very methodical and you have a certain way of writing pieces and this piece while having remnants of your heavy nostalgic pieces, focused a lot more on the topic picture this week using it more as your foundation, your focal point instead of the usual using is for a jumping-off point. I liked it and how you sort of broke the mold, yet stayed familiar. I liked your narrative and found it kinda whimsical but at the same time grounded? I don't know. Wasn't your usual dead man piece but i enjoyed it.

This was a lot closer than expected tbh but I've still got to edge it to dead man. He just had a narrative i liked better and smoother read but that might just be personal preference

V/dead man
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