I liked Ender's style here, technical and straightforward there wasn't a whole lot of mystique to it but at the same time it wasn't super predictable either. There were some parts that grammatically read weird or just some phrases you used like "mohawked queer cunt" but that might just be a nitpicking thing on my part. Overall i thought this was a good verse but it could have been more of a compelling narrative, but the subject matter was very relevant to a lot of us and i can personally draw parallels to anger issues and whatnot.
Bodey, i liked your narrative a lot and the fact that it was based on a true story was a cool choice on your part especially because i feel like you have made a lot of personal pieces, as compared to this one which you wrote from the standpoint of a character. I liked this because it kind of felt like a cross of a Universe/dead man piece and you included things that conjured nostalgia. "Shooting bottle rockets, JNCO jeans etc" just made your writing human even though you were telling it from someone else's point of view. Nice job.
Bodey is the clear winner here in my eyes, just conjured more of an atmosphere in her verse and brought it to life a bit more. I liked Ender's verse because It was a technical spectacle but i think this one goes to Bodey i enjoyed hers more great job everyone.
V/Bodey
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