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Old 04-26-2020, 10:57 AM   #14
MMLP
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 614
Battle Record: 15-16


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Ender - the beginning stanza was well put, great basis to work from. Some moments fell flat I'll say but you had a clear direction n stuck with it n never went off. It was technically fine. Nice smooth easy read, got a de Niro in taxi vibe at it towards the end which brought some needed imagery. Good stuff

Bodey - again at certain points I got a goodfellas, Sopranos vibe to it which gave the piece imagery. Makes a better impact on the reader. I will say enders was a smoother piece but this story was better n engaging. There was more life to it, not a technical masterpiece but ok enough, I do appreciate how hard it is at times whilst getting the points across

It comes down to the endings, both didnt land the way I wanted them to. Ender was technically better imo, they're both quite similar in what they're portraying, BUT with a little more life injected into the back story, I see the hows/ whys etc for the characters motivation in bodeys. He snatches the win here by a hair, can see why its proving divisive. Ain't mad at either result here

Good work guys! V/ bodey... just
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