[Scar]

oh man now this is a clash of titans here.

universe, fuckin loved it. I don't know how much of the feedback last week played to the overall plot progression of your series but the whole retconning of the event of last week was more favorable, at least to me anyway lulz. This series is dope. seems like a short individual story but this installment and last week's installment are the most connected. As a sucker for twist, this shit was right up my alley. although i did though the beginning was a bit longwinded, but to your credit, there were some downright disturbing and chilling moments. "I can still see the look on her face, lips posed in an awkward 'Oh'". that was fucking crazy and sick lulz. So the story concluded with the revelation that the whole ordeal was in his head. it played perfectly to the week's topic because well, envy seems to be the driving force behind the guy's action, right? i think my only problem with this verse and perhaps your style in general is this need to insert these wordplays that really break the tone of the verse. "Arresting me was no longer the answer, it was just out of the question" to me it draws too much attention to itself and not in a good way you know? like "hey guys look what i can do! pretty cool, huh?" Other than that, well your one of my fav if not m FAV in the league for a reason. your dedication to the craft is inspiring my man. hope you continue to write long after the league is over.

diablo, oh man this is a modern day aesop's fable! I've seen you do this over at the other site before and while it may seem cheesy, i fuckin love it. The main thing is the heart of it. Its honest. Its your personal feeling about a matter, but clad in elite level lyricism and admirable writing in general. Something i've always been fan of, in regards to your writing is the natural wording. Like its not forced at all. it just fits perfectly like it was meant to be there you know? again, hard to explain but its how i see it. This verse is about greed and the underlying current event here is you vs uni and perhaps his Pyrrhic victories as you seem to imply that he's obsessed with winning, and will eventually lead to some kind of demise. While i'm incline to agree with the first point, he does seem very competitive, but honestly, i have no qualm with it cause it allows him to produce lots of dope ass verses you know? But yeah i think its a nice little character study using a popularize fable to throw shades and yolks at the opponent lulz.

damn this is a close one and to me, very worthy of champ match. I thought both story was engaging. One was an original screenplay for the thriller audience while the other was an adapted screenplay that was film for the independent circuit. I really enjoyed them equally, shit! Ok, since its so fucking even, i'll have to go with process of elimination. I think there is less flaws in one verse than there are in the other. It comes down to mechanics and with that said by the smallest strand of salma hayek's hair ..

v/diablo