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Old 04-25-2020, 01:24 AM   #7
Bodey
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Phar- lol i liked this. simple, clear-cut to the point. I wished it continued the same way as it started. when the lines went down to single words, it kind of lost my interest. at the same time, it's kind of like a genius at work. because if your topic is sloth, not only are you describing one, but you also kind of started writing like one. plus, it was relatable, so i liked that too.

MMLP- the writing here was good, flowed breezily as well. i read it a couple times because i couldn't really tell that it was even referencing the topic of sloth, despite the ending tying it up in a neat little twist. i found that creative.

i will say though, if Phar had tried a little harder, maybe dug deeper into the details of the character he was speaking from, i think he would've taken this one on the sheer fact that he was closer alongside the topic at hand. MMLP, your writing is good, and i thought that your ability to think a little outside of the box deserves the win here.

v/ MMLP
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