PA, interesting verse. the structure is ugly as hell but once you start reading, it was smoother than Salma Hayek's hair. the verse is not a conventional story with plot and stuff like that. it was more of a character sketch, diving deep into the mind of the character. in a way i think it worked. it was almost like a power point on what constitute a sloth and by doing so, there was like this sense of despair that followed. i wish it was wrapped more of a traditional narrative format. and i don't understand why certain commas are where they are. one line in particular i thought was somberly dope "Life without merit. A stick without the carrot."
mmlp, this was great. the closer was awesome, but i didn't feel like the meat of the verse reinforced that dope ass concept. Would have been super ill if you focused on god's sloth and the effect it had on the devil. Most of the verse seems to be about the conniving aspect of god. i don't see the correlation with "sloth". What was the sloth characteristics that god was showing? if anything i thought his mind was working in a very complex way the way he manipulated everything, lulz. anyway, i love the flow. it was smooth as hell, no pun intended. Even though i had some issue with the actual topic, i enjoyed this verse from beginning to end. it had me reading without growing restless. im ADD so thats quite a feat lulz.
this was a close match. i like pharaoh meta take on the verse. it was very strong in regards to topic relevance. My only gripe was that it just wasn't creative. It holds a lot of truth, believe me i know, but it doesn't allow for more than a casual read. MMLP gave a bit more in the creativity department although i thought the week's topic didn't really surfaced all that much but i thought his verse was interesting enough to steal the dub.
v/ mmlp
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