Living in Fear
It’s a monotonous buzz, fear is a chainsaw blade
It never goes away, I’m even afraid of being afraid
Trying to fade into the background wherever I go
So I don’t have to fight, so it never comes to blows
I suppose it’s why I try to never meet the eye
Of girls and guys in the street passing by
Deny eye contact and show no facial expression
Avoid a painful session of unstable aggression
But I question what this is really about my friend
Why I want to shout but I tend to back down in the end
Never hold my ground and defend, what is this fear?
Is it mere harsh words that I can’t bear to hear?
Or do I fear violence leading to a downturn in my health?
Or in a confrontation, what I might learn about myself?
I dwell on on this as I’m walking the streets in a slump
Watching my feet, I think it’s clear that….. BUMP!
“Watch where you’re going, you stupid queer cunt!”
Sheer blunt rage in the voice, I could hear the affront
He had a mohawk, black leather jacket and boots
A nose-ringed brute who looked used to disputes
I could feel my heart pump, maybe this was the time
Don’t be a coward, standing up for yourself isn’t a crime
“Sorry about that,” mumbled quietly. Pathetic.
Should be ready to rumble, not shyly apologetic
Yet still apoplectic, a boot lashes out
Blood splashes about from the crashing clout
No doubt unconscious, maybe dead
Tried to get back up, got a boot to the head
I had always lived in fear, what would happen if I confront?
My wrath escaped and I killed that mohawked queer cunt
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