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Old 04-19-2020, 04:39 PM   #15
Inno
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,025
Battle Record: 26-54


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League

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universe I thought this was a great piece bro. I think you have the bet storytelling skills ive seen this season. ok so this one starts off a bit slow but once I got to the ending I got why you kept it that way. interesting twist tbh I didn't see that coming on first read. once I re read I could see the subtle clues you planted through out your verse. I thought you made a smooth transition from good guy to bad guy lol. I thought you did an excellent job describing how the dude was teetering on the brink of insanity.

dead man another great verse as well. you to wrote about losing your sister but with a different outcome. I gotta say man your verse is full of nostalgia for me. I loved all the references because I did some of those things. great way to involve the reader in your emotional roller coaster. I really enjoyed your take on the picture I thought it captured the true nature of the picture.


in the end I got deadman I thought his verse stood strong even though uni went 50. plus the nostalgic factor of dead mans verse won me over. great battle I got dead
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