This was real good, Ender. I think pacing wise you nailed, I’m a big fan of the short lines with more emphasis placed on the rhythmic cadence and implied flow so this was right up my street from the gate. I can appreciate the degree of difficulty used in maintaining the rhyme scheme with the carryovers and internals you used throughout but I’m also not overlooking your use of dialogue throughout here - you managed to keep it short and sweet, very natural sounding and never seemed to try and fit it into the rhymes (which many people make the mistake of doing IMO) but I was pleased to see you had the experience here not to fall into that trap, it’s the sign of an experienced writer for sure and that experience shined through in this for me. The recalls of ‘purple’ throughout were handled very well and never seemed repetitive, that’s particularly due to your word usage and rhyme placement - which again I felt was another strong point of yours here. You’re good in several areas and I think you’ll pose a threat to the majority of writers active in the league.
Keep that pen moving!
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